Circles of Shadow

I stand apart, looking out
past a shadow clinging to me
eclipsing my personal light

Looking around, I see
bright glows from others
their shadow seems less

The air resists my movement
a wind felt only in the pressure
against my struggle for change

When I have found a suitable
resting point, my shadow again falls
forcing my sight to look out again.

Looking at the world
I wish
I was part of it.

Renewed Wrong

I have tried to post here for some time. My life has spiralled away from me, and talking with you seemed to help in the past. I am at a loss.

I am again off work due to brain issues. I panic at the thought of responsibility, when once I coveted it. There seems to be a stain on my personality that I am attempting to cover up. I am scared, even in places where no one knows me, that someone will see through this wrongness in me. That they will notice the stain and... mock me or something. Three shrinks are working on me now and progress is being made, but I know that depression/anxiety is more like diabetes than a broken arm. A broken arm heals and is whole again, where diabetes must be managed as an eternal condition.

And that sucks.