A Fight With the Wolves Inside

I look at myself in a mirror,
The two sides of myself I see
My wolf of noble intent and strength
Contends with the black wolf of me.

These wolves circle around myself
And I wonder which will win
As I look for a hint of who's stronger,
The brawl increases the din.

I clap my hands over my ears,
I beg for the two to stop
They remain a ball of teeth and fur
And neither one will drop.

And I realize that they are me,
And only I am the judge.
I must pick one o'er the other.
One wins, the other must budge...

While this battle is done,
The war still rages afar.
The wolves come back, now and again
And I must choose a winner.

Doctor's Orders

My family doctor has "suggested" that I stay home from work for the next couple of weeks. My concentration is down and I am making amateur mistakes at work. And I crashed my truck not to long ago. And my appetite is down. And I am not sleeping well. And there are a couple of other symptoms of a fairly deep depression.

So, I am currently spending my days playing with my dogs, reading novels, and getting some work done around the house. Our place has been a bit of a disaster over the holidays, and there are several little things that need fixing or upgrading that I have been trying to find the energy to deal with. My shrink thinks that my activities are good, but it feels like to little to me. There is nothing that deals with the root causes of the difficulties I am having in my plans. And there is little I hate more than being unable to deal with problems head on.

Awash in a sea of grey,
A gull cries again,
I walk alone.