Fighting Boredom

Bored.

Bored, bored, bored, bored.

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

My ennui is growing lately. I am trying to find excitement, but it is eluding me. Like the reflection of a spark on the water when I reach for excitement I find the cold and wet feeling of fear. I feel lost and alone. Again.

Hopefully now that I have named this, I can go on to confront this. I do not wish to lose myself again, not when I have so recently found myself.

Thanks for listening,

Goonius

Paying Attention in a Failing Economy

One of the most frustrating limitations that I have as a person is that I do not pick up on hints. It is not something that I can do well. At work these last couple of months, there has been an impression of words going over my head again. That is more that a bit frustrating. It becomes even more frustrating because I have a difficult time distinguishing between slips of the tongue, back handed complements and actual praise.

Now work is slowing down for me. There is work on the horizon, but not work right now. And so I wonder if there is a layoff in my future. I do not think so, but the possibility is there. So, I now am worrying about that and what people say to me seems layered with meaning. And I am not in a good frame of mind to decode secret messages.

Fuck 'em. I will continue to do as good a job as I can, and let the chips fall where they may.

New Trumpet

I have joined a local concert band. My trumpet playing is not great, but it gets the job done and I am enjoying it. But, I do not own a trumpet of my own. So, a deal was struck. My lady needs a soprano sax. I need a trumpet. If we save, we should be able to afford those sometime in mid-April. It should be noted that my lady already owns an alto sax and a tenor sax. Also, a soprano sax costs about $3,000, where my trumpet costs $300. At some point I will have to leverage this disparity into something. Suggestions are welcome.

Goonius

Things for the Good

I am going to try a positive post, as I have noticed that my last few posts have be been rants of an angry sort. This is not the frame of mind I am trying to project these days. So, the good things that are happening (in list form);

1. I have a great wife, who is becoming more and more comfortable with herself and me.

2. I got a raise. Not a huge raise, but money is money.

3. I have job security, which in this time is important to remember.

4. There are two dogs that are generally good and like me.

5. I have a large and widely scattered group of family and friends who will back me up even if they have not seen me for a long time.

I am doing good. I just need to remind myself of that.

Thanks,

Goonius Maximus.