Back in the Office

In a clear departure from the way that my life has been going thus far this year, I will be in the office this week. I will admit to a certain amount of nervousness about returning to the mother ship after such a long absence. The nervousness takes the form of me not wanting to go into work at all. But, I have arrived at work today in the morning, at a reasonable time. Who would have thought that I would be cheering myself for getting to work on time?

Anger.

I was recently angry. I have not been properly pissed for quite some time. Or, more specifically, I have not let the anger out. And there is a lot of anger sitting inside me, from this damn job, from what is happening to my wife and just generally being upset with myself. Yesterday, a mountain was made out of a mole hill on the job site and I lost it. I raised my voice (in response to a raised voice), I questioned, I argued and when I was done I panicked. Anger like that has not seeped out of me for a long time. However, my frustration did not take me over. I was in control, and that is a feeling that I have never really experienced. My emotion was channeled in a non-destructive fashion.

I am not proud that I lost it, but I am oddly proud that I managed to direct it better that I have ever directed it before.

Things are looking up.

My first day back a work (up in the great white north) has been a rain day. The powers that be up here are all a-quiver with rumors regarding the mergers with Inco and Falconbridge. Rumor has it that the top 36 big wigs in Falconbridge are going to be eliminated with Falconbridge's merger with Extrata (I hope I spelled that right). Basically, they are more worried about other things than me. That is a good position to be in.