Today, I have questions spilling out of me. These questions are of a personal nature, but I will share them with you.
Question the First...
What am I doing?
This may seem like a no brainer question, but it has strong ramifications. I am doing engineering, but I seem to be finding less and less joy in it. The work is tedious and repetitive (at least the work that I am doing now) and I have been locked in the lab for a good long time. And I hate the lab with a passion that is beginning to boarder on insanity. Which leads me to
Question the Second...
Should I go?
I have been receiving calls from an executive recruiter. Do I chase him down and jump ship? Perhaps my difficulty is with something more fundamental. A am beginning to think that a career change may be in order. My lovely lady expressed the opinion that I would make a good teacher.
Question the Third...
Who am I?
A basic and fundamental question with no real answer. I have many talents and many weaknesses, but my sense of identity has always been very fluid. No one aspect of my self rises above the others to claim precedence. I joke about being an engineer, but that is more of a cover that disguises my lack of a real identity.
My wife, bless her, holds my hand as I struggle to rise above myself. In spite of her ongoing and increasingly complicated difficulties, finds some energy somewhere to help me out. For this, and many other things, I thank you sweet heart.
Thank you for sharing my rant.
Goonius Maximus
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3 comments:
I hear ya, man. I've been wondering if I'm really cut out for what I'm doing myself. Sometimes I think I should just grab hold of the summer job and make it a full time gig.
You gotta do what makes ya happy. Check the recruiter, change the career, whatever it takes. Working crap jobs is not for you.
I, too, am all about the self-reflection lately. I did a tarot reading last night and the big 'important' card that came up was the hermit, which implies that retreat is necessary so that your 'self' can be discovered or rediscovered.
Maybe we all need to be doing a little introspection--it could be our age. I feel a little lost myself, you know. We need to have an introspection party where there is beer. I'm totally serious in this--maybe we need to spend a Saturday before Christmas mulling over our thoughts with our good friends and wine/beer in hand (or hot chocolate for that wonderful woman in our life).
I, too, am questioning. I have three degrees: how long can I make $11.66 / hr part time, and do shows on the side? It's just plain depressing. I understand the need for security (is that what's tying you to your current job?), but there's no shame in trying a different company. In the corporate world, there's no reward for sticking it out 'just another six months'. Check out all your options: you're not committed to anything until you sign a contract. On the plus side, I will be home for at least a week at Christmas, so perhaps there will be time for the bar couch (as opposed to the blog couch)...
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