Questing for the Good Life

In my eternal quest for optimism, I find myself often floating away in the wrong direction. That direction that lets one know that without a doubt, you yourself are the stupidest person in the known world. This state of mind follows me. It lingers in the background like a faint but persistant odour, like aftershave someone's mom bought. It waits for me to get sleepy or stressed out. Then, the current of my life yanks me towards the darker places. The the bits that remain shaded from the public eye. The slivers of yourself that will not listen to reason. Where do I go for balence?